Well I've just been to my first Aspergers support group and I'm not sure whether I'll return.
The emotions I've just experienced are unbelievable. Yes it was a great meeting and yes it was informative. It's just that I KNOW I'm having difficulty dealing with this. I just could have sat there and cried through the whole thing. I walked out with the biggest lump in my throat ever.
I then had to drive up to the school to get the kids and on the way there I just broke down. I couldn't believe it. It's not like Jedd was just diagnosed or anything in actual fact it's been quite a few years since I've 'known'.
I think in some ways though I've turned my back on a lot of things..the coping mechanism jumped in but when you're faced with it like I was today it brings it all back. Why my son? There aren't even any answers.
So I composed myself before I got out of the car to walk down and picked the boys up still with the lump in my throat and wishing to God that no-one came and talked to me. Just about out of the school unobserved when his teacher calls out to me. She is usually fantastic but today was very loud..or maybe it just seemed like that at the time. Apparently..she says..Jedds homework is not being completed. Well hello? Only last week she told me if his homework is too much then we're not to stress about it so whats the problem?
So I've made an appointment for her, me and Jedd to sit down and work through his weekly homework together so we all know what to do. I think she just really picked the wrong moment. Then I had to walk past the special needs teacher who knew I was going to the support group today and as soon as she asked me how it went I started howling again!! I just walked away and left her standing there.
I'm just finding things a little hard right now with all this and I know I'm stressing already about Jedd going to high school next year, which is probably a little irrational.
Anyway..sorry for the sorry a*s post but I'm that worked up at the moment.