Sunday, July 09, 2006
If your in a good mood..don't read on as this isn't going to be a nice post and I don't want to spoil your day.
For many years I have batted the 'black dog' as they call it and have taken anti-depressants since my 5th child was born and he is now 10yrs old. I've taken these meds on and off and I have never cared what other people have thought of me taking them as I've also had to take them for a muscle disease I have also and they stimulate the nerves apparently so not as much pain is felt or something like that.
Anyway..it's been quite some time now since I've been on any meds as I found the last ones were making too dependant and giving me head spins every time I forgot to take them which is stupid of me I know..but hey..thats why I've got so many kids from not taking pills. :)
Now I think it's time for me to go back on these tablets as I'm starting to go off the rails again..well not starting..getting worse. I usually know when it's time to go back on them and I go and see my doctor straight away but he has moved to another practise and I refuse to go and see him as it's a huge medical centre and you sit there for hours waiting for him.
I know I need these meds as my behaviour as been atrocious to say the least and I really am a nightmare at the moment. I also can't blame giving up smoking forever..I need to look beyond that.
So..when Michael gets home from cricket with one of the boys..I will no doubt have to apologise for my behaviour this morning and for the very hurtful things I said...again. I don't know how much a person can take..but I know I'm not the only person in this house who can dish it out either.
I'm sorry for my ramblings this morning and I know I've only told half a story but I feel really surreal and I know I'm sitting here blabbering shit..LOL
I'll share with you the layout I finished last night..it's the 4th for Mardis' scrap to shop challenge. I had this pic on my desk for a couple of days and I knew what I wanted to do with it..it just wouldn't come together. Bit like my life at the moment.